I'm eating all of the evidence.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
