Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize