You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
