Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
