I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize