just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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