You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
