ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
