she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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