Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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