im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
