I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
