Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
