FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
