Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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