He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize