Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
