just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
