You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
