You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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