rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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