thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
