i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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