VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
