Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
