apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize