so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
