hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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