hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Who died my cat blue again?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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