Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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