he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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