chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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