At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
