420 ftw
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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