I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
