dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
