Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
