Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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