When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
