i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
