and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
