I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
