i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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