All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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