I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sober January is a disaster.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
