On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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