i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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