HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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