you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
