Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize