a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
