Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize