Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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