margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
