Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize