She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
