...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
