All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It all started with a game of naked twister.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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