dude i'm inner monologue high
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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