i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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