Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
