We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
