I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
