My brain says no but my pants say off.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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