whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
