The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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