I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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