sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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