i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
