Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
