Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize