Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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