the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
