hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
