this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
